fear, vulnerability and a year of blogging
On August 31st, I was going about my normal day when I realized the date was familiar. It had been a year since I had started this whole blogging thing. Wowza.
A year ago, I was apprehensive and certainly had no idea what I was doing, but I thought I would give blogging a try since I love writing and tend to have a lot to say about different topics (my poor parents can vouch for that one- it's been a fatal flaw since I first learned to speak!).
I had wanted to do this for a long time and had even started a blog twice before. Both times, however, had turned out to be unsuccessful when I chickened out and deleted said blogs. Last year, however, I was committed. Read my first blog post here.
It's been a wonderful journey since. I started off with so many ideas of topics I could share about. Faith! Development! Recipes! Tout et Rien smorgasbords! Traveling! All the things!
If you have been along for the ride since the beginning (which would be surprising, as I kept the blog a completely secret from everyone I knew other than maybe five people), you probably noticed how eager I was in the early days of the blog. I was writing multiple times a week about a diversity of topics. I was so excited and nothing could stop me!
Then, seven months into it, I felt as though I had no words to say at all. Writer's block, they call it. And just when I thought I should delete the blog because it seemed so juvenile and a cliche- I found myself loving this space all over again. I held onto it as a place to work through the millions of thoughts going through my mind- a way to immortalize musings, conclusions or questions that I will look back to one day. It is a way to actively pay attention and engage with topics that could otherwise be but brief reflections.
Generally speaking, I am someone who doubts herself. I worry that my thoughts make no sense, lack cohesion and that I am utterly alone in my observations. Whenever I find myself in this mindset, blogging seems so daunting and unbearably vulnerable. This was definitely what was going through my mind when I deleted blog #1 and blog #2.
Blogging has been an invitation to stop making decisions out of fear. Every time I press the "publish" button is a step of faith in some sense. It is a decision to intentionally choose vulnerability over fearing the disapproval of others. What a great opportunity for growth this has been!
I am so grateful to fellow bloggers who reached out to me and gave me feedback on writing and readership. I was so touched by those of you who invited me to share some thoughts on their own space of the web.
I am equally thankful to the dear readers who shared comments and insight, and who faithfully read posts. I can't believe people would take time out of their busy lives to take a glimpse into my brain and thoughts- I am so humbled by that. Thank you.
I don't always feel like I know who my audience is. I see on the backend that people are reading- but who you are can sometimes feel like a bit of a mystery. But, either way, whether your thoughts are similar to mine or you disagree with me entirely, thank you for your presence here. Oh, and feel free to share about yourself- I'd love to hear.
I thought, in honor of a full year of blogging, that I would share posts that resonated with readers and that I received feedback on. A trip down memory lane, of sorts.
- thoughts on social media and God
- surviving midterms
- stillness
- sustainable short-term missions
- what i learned this fall semester
- advent + making room
- christian traditions
- the great mystery
- what i learned- winter 2018
- objectifying the poor
- self-centered theology
- about my valentine
- lent and joy of salvation
- why development theory is important
- theology of the table
- what i learned- spring 2018
And of course, you guys sure love the tout et rien series! I'll make sure to make another one soon- that's a promise!
So here is to a year of blogging. Thanks to all of you for stopping by, reading and encouraging. It is such a gift!
À bientôt!
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