what i learned- winter 2018
I love Emily P. Freeman's encouragement to pause and reflect on a season before heading into the next one. We tend to hustle and bustle, and forget what we have enjoyed, disliked, learned and experienced in this quarter of the year. I am following her lead!
Here are some of the mundane, sacred, helpful, tender and life-giving lessons of the Winter of 2018.
1. You can't do it alone
Winter 2018 was marked by watching my mom experience a pretty devastating burnout. My mother is a strong leader- she loves organizing, planning, taking charge. I always admired the way she juggled so many different roles and responsibilities. Unfortunately, the human body and mind can only take so much. Our family has been navigating through the harsh truth that we need to slow down.
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| My sweet mama! |
I’ve been reading the book of Exodus as a Lenten devotion. A passage that marked me was Exodus 18:13-23. Moses’ father-in-law, Jethro, finds out about Moses’ responsibilities and tells him: “What you are doing is not good. You will surely wear yourself out, both you and these people with you. For the task is too heavy for you; you cannot do it alone.” This sums up a big learning curve in my life this winter. If you know me, you know I like taking on a lot. If you know me, you also probably know I don’t know my limits, and certainly don’t respect them. I like being in control and have a hard time delegating... I’m my mother’s daughter! But, as Jethro says, what I am doing is not good. In the same way, God says in Genesis 2:18 “It is not good for man to be alone.” We are called and made to work in teams and collaborate with others, which allows us to have a more soulful, peaceful, healthy way of life.
2. Shauna Niequist is delightful
I read Present over Perfect in the Fall. It quite honestly changed my life. This past month, I read Bittersweet and enjoyed her thoughts on bittersweet experiences so much. Her personal essays are funny, contemplative and relatable- and she sure knows how to make me want to cook! The book was a culinary and spiritual experience, and I couldn't recommend it enough. Also- I love her Instagram account.
3. It's the little things
The winter blues hit me hard this year. I was so tired of the cold, snow and school- I just wanted to be on a beach or something (read: I'm extremely privileged and drift toward self-pity when I don't get sunshine). Loved ones however never cease to amaze me with little gestures of kindness. My mom ordered sushi for me one night when I was alone at the house studying. The boy sent me a puzzle to enjoy. My cousin invited me over for a day of paper writing with homemade toffee lattes. Little things that mean so much.
I read Present over Perfect in the Fall. It quite honestly changed my life. This past month, I read Bittersweet and enjoyed her thoughts on bittersweet experiences so much. Her personal essays are funny, contemplative and relatable- and she sure knows how to make me want to cook! The book was a culinary and spiritual experience, and I couldn't recommend it enough. Also- I love her Instagram account.
The winter blues hit me hard this year. I was so tired of the cold, snow and school- I just wanted to be on a beach or something (read: I'm extremely privileged and drift toward self-pity when I don't get sunshine). Loved ones however never cease to amaze me with little gestures of kindness. My mom ordered sushi for me one night when I was alone at the house studying. The boy sent me a puzzle to enjoy. My cousin invited me over for a day of paper writing with homemade toffee lattes. Little things that mean so much.
4. Relationships are hard, but remember you're on the same side
Why is it that I expected that putting two imperfect people together would somehow be perfect? I am so dang thankful for my boyfriend (referred to as "the boy" on the blog). But, if I am completely honest, we go through rough patches. Long distance, stress, misunderstandings, expectations and plain old sin get the best of us at times. Relationships require time and work. We are two different individuals, with our own sets of hopes, dreams and opinions. That will inevitably lead to hard conversations and disagreements. What I am most grateful for is that in the middle of an argument (hitting the point where I am convinced the end of the world is near), P gently and graciously reminds me "Jess, we are on the same side." Somehow, that helps me change my posture from confrontation to curiosity and wanting to understand where he is coming from. It's an important reminder that despite occasional divergence, we are not two entirely polarized entities.
5. I love letter boards
My parents gifted me with a retro felt letter board for Christmas. I love it. Letter boards are such a sweet way to embellish a space and be reminded of truths (or make someone laugh!). Words of wisdom from Henri Nouwen (a fave of mine) below!
Why is it that I expected that putting two imperfect people together would somehow be perfect? I am so dang thankful for my boyfriend (referred to as "the boy" on the blog). But, if I am completely honest, we go through rough patches. Long distance, stress, misunderstandings, expectations and plain old sin get the best of us at times. Relationships require time and work. We are two different individuals, with our own sets of hopes, dreams and opinions. That will inevitably lead to hard conversations and disagreements. What I am most grateful for is that in the middle of an argument (hitting the point where I am convinced the end of the world is near), P gently and graciously reminds me "Jess, we are on the same side." Somehow, that helps me change my posture from confrontation to curiosity and wanting to understand where he is coming from. It's an important reminder that despite occasional divergence, we are not two entirely polarized entities.
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| P and J, Summer 2017 in BC. |
5. I love letter boards
My parents gifted me with a retro felt letter board for Christmas. I love it. Letter boards are such a sweet way to embellish a space and be reminded of truths (or make someone laugh!). Words of wisdom from Henri Nouwen (a fave of mine) below!
6. International development is not glamorous
I started an editorial internship with Dressember this semester, which is the perfect intersection of my love for words and justice. I thoroughly enjoyed writing this piece about the unglamorous nature of the fight to end modern-day slavery. Anti-trafficking work isn't all about rescue missions and successful court cases- much paperwork, lobbying, research and programming is involved. As I have been studying international development, I am learning this is true for most sectors of development- the economy, justice system, politics, human rights, etc. It's not Hollywood material- but it is just as important and motivated by love.
I started an editorial internship with Dressember this semester, which is the perfect intersection of my love for words and justice. I thoroughly enjoyed writing this piece about the unglamorous nature of the fight to end modern-day slavery. Anti-trafficking work isn't all about rescue missions and successful court cases- much paperwork, lobbying, research and programming is involved. As I have been studying international development, I am learning this is true for most sectors of development- the economy, justice system, politics, human rights, etc. It's not Hollywood material- but it is just as important and motivated by love.
7. Montréal's coffee scene is amazing
I wrote in the Fall that I developed a love for coffee shops this year. And guys- I am in a pretty ideal city for that.
8. The Sabbath matters
9. I love the Plateau
Montréal's Plateau du Mont-Royal borough is so beautiful. I love the architecture, art scene, book stores, thrifting, markets, shops. It gets me dreaming about living in the city one day.
10. Podcasts are my jam
I love, love, love listening to podcasts on my way to school or when I am working out. It's such an enjoyable way to learn and gain wisdom and insight from amazing teachers and conversationalists. These are some of the podcasts I have enjoyed in past months:
I wrote in the Fall that I developed a love for coffee shops this year. And guys- I am in a pretty ideal city for that.
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| Bristol Chai |
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| Café Darling |
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| La Finca |
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| Café Spoon |
Practicing the Sabbath (a day of rest, worship and enjoyment) matters. In my experience, this God-given invitation is not heavily emphasized in evangelical circles, but I wish it was. The Sabbath helps me adopt a posture of peace and worship. It leads me to fix my gaze on Christ for the rest of the week rather than seek busyness. I’m learning that humans come alive in rest, not hectic living. More of my thoughts on Sabbath here.
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| A Sabbath favorite for me: coffee shop hunting (see point 7), reading and writing. |
9. I love the Plateau
Montréal's Plateau du Mont-Royal borough is so beautiful. I love the architecture, art scene, book stores, thrifting, markets, shops. It gets me dreaming about living in the city one day.
10. Podcasts are my jam
I love, love, love listening to podcasts on my way to school or when I am working out. It's such an enjoyable way to learn and gain wisdom and insight from amazing teachers and conversationalists. These are some of the podcasts I have enjoyed in past months:
- This Cultural Moment with John Mark Comer (also, anything with John Mark Comer)
- The Global Vault, with Ron Brown from the Christian Missionary Alliance
- The Next Right Thing with Emily P. Freeman
- The Happy Hour Podcast with Jamie Ivey
- That Sounds Fun with Annie F. Downs
- The Liturgists with Mike the Science and Michael Gungor (specifically the episodes "Enneagram" and "Searching For Sunday")
Thanks for taking time to reflect upon the Winter of 2018 with me. I'm so ready for you, Spring!
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