pride

I've always said that if I were to go out for coffee with any author in the entire world, it would be Clive Staple Lewis. He writes in a way that is approachable, that invites you in. He is logical, clear and concise (writing skills I lack). He is a humble, always pointing readers to God. 

I've been reading Mere Christianity lately. Okay, let me rephrase that. I started it a year ago, forgot about it during exams, and am now actually reading it. What an amazing book, a beautiful introduction to the Christian faith. I really appreciated Lewis' account of "the one vice of which no man in the world is free". This vice, which he calls "the great sin" and the "anti-God state of mind", is pride. 

Ok, confession time: I'm a prideful person.

Pride certainly inserts itself in many areas of one's life. You can experience pride when it comes to school, work, popularity, appearance. According to Lewis, however, it would seem that the most dangerous type of pride is the spiritual kind. Guilty, guilty, guilty.

That is the pride involved when you forget that salvation is by grace alone, and that all the ministry you are involved in, all the Bible studies you lead, all the good acts you initiate don't make you any more saved or valuable in the eyes of God.

That is the pride in which you find yourself thinking you do so much, not realizing it's God's Spirit that works through you.

That is the pride that dangerously compares and plays the fault-finding game, fostering thoughts like "His prayer is so fake." "She needs to deal with this sin in her life." "Their worship is so shallow."

That is the pride of the church-goer that is hungry for attention. The one that secretly thinks, I hope everyone sees me give my offering. I hope someone says aloud how great this Sunday school lesson I planned is. I hope people realize how spiritual I am while I raise my hands during worship. I hope my pastor mentions how committed I am to this Bible study. 

That is the pride that desperately wants to help and be with only certain, specific people (those the world deem with honour, those everyone wants approval from), yet effectively ignores those who seem less interesting to us, that we get less out of.

In the past few weeks, my spiritual pride has been highlighted in many ways. And God has been sweetly (but also powerfully) reminding me that, at the end of the day,  I'm just a branch. It's not about me. It's about Him. His glory, not mine.

Lewis writes: "How is it that people who are quite obviously eaten with Pride can say they believe in God and appear to themselves very religious? I am afraid it means they are worshipping an imaginary God. They theoretically admit to themselves to be nothing in the presence of this phantom God, but are really all the time imagining how He approves of them and think them far better than ordinary people: that is, they pay a pennyworth of imaginary humility to Him and get out of it a proud's worth of Pride towards their fellow-men. I suppose it was of those people Christ was thinking when He said that some would preach about Him and cast out devils in His name, only to be told at the end of the world that He had never know them." Um, ouch???????

As I have been praying about pride, I have come to acknowledge that it is often the very root of sin.

Satan himself viewed himself as powerful and all-mighty, which led him to covet the authority of God and rebel against Him. 

Adam and Eve both were too prideful to admit their wrongdoing and played the blame game.

The Pharisees were so filled with pride they couldn't see the carpenter's son for what He was: the Messiah and King of Kings. 

So, where does that leave us who struggle with pride? How can we proactively address these pride issues we have? What can we do to shift our focus from inward to outward and upward?

I often think back to King Nebuchadnezzar, in the book of Daniel. King Nebuchadnezzar was the epitome of a prideful narcissist. Everything was all about him, his dreams and his kingdom. But then God, in His infinite love and grace, humbles Nebuchadnezzar. He does so harshly, but sometimes that's what we need, isn't it? The king had to lose his sanity and practically become an animal to be reminded of his desperate need for the God of Israel. Talk about humbling redemption! 

There is always hope in Jesus. We can come before the throne of God and be reminded of the gospel in which we stand. It is in the presence of my Saviour that I will see so clearly that I need His grace and forgiveness just as much as every other person on this sin-infested planet. While destructive pride pushes me toward death, the acknowledgment of my pride pushes me closer to the very face of God. 

And, as C.S Lewis writes, "the first step is to realize that one is proud." 

....And all the self-identified-prideful-boys-and-girls said amen!