thoughts on my birthday
My birthday, July the 13th, has come and gone- and it was a lovely day to look back at this past year of life and praise God for all that He has done. My family tends to go all out for birthdays, not in terms of extravagance and money spent but in sweet traditions, creative surprises and so much thoughtfulness. I am sure my younger self would have been content with hot-dogs, balloons and boxed cake, but my mom put time and effort into planning crafty and ingenious parties for my sister and I- including a Hawaiian luau, a murder mystery, a BYOB party (bring your own bear, not bottle), etc. So fun. It was a time to shower the given family member with love, encouragement and prayers for the upcoming year.
So, in brief, birthdays are an important rhythm of celebration in my family. I hope I'm not weirding you out or coming across as narcissistic by wishing myself a happy birthday!
I turned 22 this past week (cue T-Swizzle), and I'm officially feeling it. For some reason, early adulthood is only hitting me now.
I was always a little young for my age (a late bloomer, they call it), so I guess it is only fitting for myself to really feel "in my twenties" two years in. It's not that I was blatantly immature or had developmental setbacks, but rather that I never felt the need to rush to age quickly. I loved (and still do!) dreaming of the future- in fact, I sometimes have a hard time fully savoring the present. However, it always took me some time to get around to taking matters into my own hands in terms of "growing up". I was rarely one of the first of my friends to experience age-related milestones (pierced ears, dating, drivers license, and now moving out, which I still haven't got to). I'm not a fiercely independent person by nature. I love new experiences and adventures, but I doubt myself a lot and need to take my time to make big decisions. A part of it may be that I was the oldest in the family, and didn't have an older sibling paving the way. But I also think the nostalgic side of me has always held on to what is familiar, preventing me to fully embrace the exciting aspects of aging.
The thought of my twenties has always thrilled me. From my elementary school years, I anticipated University, traveling, moving out, and other exciting life experiences that are often associated with this decade. Being 19 was one of the best years of my life- I lived in Germany, studied the Bible for six months, made best friends, discovered new countries, met the boy. The year I was 20, on the other hand, was the hardest. I was miserable at University, felt lonely, grieved the loss of loved ones, was distant from God, and struggled to understand my place and significance in my community and world. Now that I think of it, I think I held onto the "teens" because of how difficult the beginning of my twenties were.
So, all this being said, the joys of being in my twenties are officially sinking in. I have often heard that your twenties are the most productive years of your life, and truly shape you into the person you will be for the rest of your life. While this thought is slightly nauseating, it also deeply excites me. I'm grateful for the privilege I have of aging- and the invitation to tackle these next years in faith and submission to God, aware that Christ goes before me and is the only One able to bring lasting and meaningful direction and transformation to my life.
I celebrated turning 22 with my family over a delicious meal in Kingston, Ontario. We were chatting about this past year, and I was overcome with gratefulness for the chaotic, multi-dimensional goodness of life. I am so thankful for another year with its ups and downs, quirks and goodness. This one was at times stressful and challenging, but also grace-filled and a heckload of fun.
I met lifelong friends, tried out an unholy amount of coffee shops, discovered Henri Nouwen and the Enneagram, stood by one of my best friends on her wedding day, fell in love with my city all over again, explored a couple countries (Belize, France, Belgium), was able to lead a Bible study, interned with an organization I love, experienced the life-giving nature of Sabbath keeping, learned from the youth I work with at church, read books upon books, got extremely excited about my field of study and enjoyed my classes, grew in love for the boy, started a BLOG (!!!!)...
This isn't to say it was perfect (by any means!). I faced hurts in my relationships, overextended myself and suffered because of it, felt helpless during my mother's illness, wrestled through seasons of self-doubt and self-hate, struggled to remember my identity lies in God and grace rather than achievements and people-pleasing.
But, for the first time, I realized that my default settings of being guilt driven and crazy busy are not the ways of Jesus (I have the boy, my family and Shauna Niequist to thank for that).
But the challenges of this year were often where my need for God became obvious to me (oh how I wish I could remember this all of the time!). He made Himself known to me in ways I did not anticipate or want at times- and for this, I am thankful.
Praise the God from whom all blessings flow.
So, in brief, birthdays are an important rhythm of celebration in my family. I hope I'm not weirding you out or coming across as narcissistic by wishing myself a happy birthday!
I turned 22 this past week (cue T-Swizzle), and I'm officially feeling it. For some reason, early adulthood is only hitting me now.
I was always a little young for my age (a late bloomer, they call it), so I guess it is only fitting for myself to really feel "in my twenties" two years in. It's not that I was blatantly immature or had developmental setbacks, but rather that I never felt the need to rush to age quickly. I loved (and still do!) dreaming of the future- in fact, I sometimes have a hard time fully savoring the present. However, it always took me some time to get around to taking matters into my own hands in terms of "growing up". I was rarely one of the first of my friends to experience age-related milestones (pierced ears, dating, drivers license, and now moving out, which I still haven't got to). I'm not a fiercely independent person by nature. I love new experiences and adventures, but I doubt myself a lot and need to take my time to make big decisions. A part of it may be that I was the oldest in the family, and didn't have an older sibling paving the way. But I also think the nostalgic side of me has always held on to what is familiar, preventing me to fully embrace the exciting aspects of aging.
The thought of my twenties has always thrilled me. From my elementary school years, I anticipated University, traveling, moving out, and other exciting life experiences that are often associated with this decade. Being 19 was one of the best years of my life- I lived in Germany, studied the Bible for six months, made best friends, discovered new countries, met the boy. The year I was 20, on the other hand, was the hardest. I was miserable at University, felt lonely, grieved the loss of loved ones, was distant from God, and struggled to understand my place and significance in my community and world. Now that I think of it, I think I held onto the "teens" because of how difficult the beginning of my twenties were.
So, all this being said, the joys of being in my twenties are officially sinking in. I have often heard that your twenties are the most productive years of your life, and truly shape you into the person you will be for the rest of your life. While this thought is slightly nauseating, it also deeply excites me. I'm grateful for the privilege I have of aging- and the invitation to tackle these next years in faith and submission to God, aware that Christ goes before me and is the only One able to bring lasting and meaningful direction and transformation to my life.
I celebrated turning 22 with my family over a delicious meal in Kingston, Ontario. We were chatting about this past year, and I was overcome with gratefulness for the chaotic, multi-dimensional goodness of life. I am so thankful for another year with its ups and downs, quirks and goodness. This one was at times stressful and challenging, but also grace-filled and a heckload of fun.
I met lifelong friends, tried out an unholy amount of coffee shops, discovered Henri Nouwen and the Enneagram, stood by one of my best friends on her wedding day, fell in love with my city all over again, explored a couple countries (Belize, France, Belgium), was able to lead a Bible study, interned with an organization I love, experienced the life-giving nature of Sabbath keeping, learned from the youth I work with at church, read books upon books, got extremely excited about my field of study and enjoyed my classes, grew in love for the boy, started a BLOG (!!!!)...
This isn't to say it was perfect (by any means!). I faced hurts in my relationships, overextended myself and suffered because of it, felt helpless during my mother's illness, wrestled through seasons of self-doubt and self-hate, struggled to remember my identity lies in God and grace rather than achievements and people-pleasing.
But, for the first time, I realized that my default settings of being guilt driven and crazy busy are not the ways of Jesus (I have the boy, my family and Shauna Niequist to thank for that).
But the challenges of this year were often where my need for God became obvious to me (oh how I wish I could remember this all of the time!). He made Himself known to me in ways I did not anticipate or want at times- and for this, I am thankful.
Praise the God from whom all blessings flow.
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